IntentionalMasculinity
The Soft Edge
Intentional Masculinity

What is Intentional Masculinity?

What is Intentional Masculinity?
3 min read
#Intentional Masculinity

Redefining Strength with Emotional Intelligence

He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
        — Lao Tzu.

Redefining masculinity isn’t just about men. It’s about all of us learning to channel our power and strength in ways that foster growth and connection. Strength doesn’t come from ignoring or suppressing emotions; it comes from reckoning with them in ways that support positive outcomes. Whether you identify with traditionally masculine traits or not, building a deep connection with your emotions is key to becoming more effective in your personal and professional life.

When we learn to engage with our emotions — rather than letting them control us — we unlock the ability to act with purpose and intention. This approach to strength, rooted in emotional intelligence, helps all individuals navigate life’s challenges with clarity, resilience, and empathy.

Emotional Intelligence and Assertiveness

Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or shutting people down. It means standing your ground while being aware of the emotions at play — both yours and others'. When you understand your emotions, you’re better able to express yourself clearly without overreacting or hiding how you feel.

  • Self-Awareness: Recognizing your emotions before they control your behaviour.
  • Self-Regulation: Staying composed, even when things get stressful.
  • Empathy: Understanding how others feel and responding thoughtfully.

Leading with Emotional Intelligence

Whether in your career or personal life, cultivating emotional intelligence helps you lead with confidence and compassion. It’s not just about making decisions but recognizing the emotional dynamics that influence those decisions. Leaders who combine assertiveness with empathy build stronger teams and relationships.

For example, in a business setting, a leader might face pressure to meet a tight deadline. Instead of pushing the team without considering their emotional state, an emotionally intelligent leader recognizes when burnout is becoming an issue. They might adjust the plan to give their team the support they need while still finding a way to meet the deadline. This balanced approach enhances the team’s performance, avoids long-term damage from stress, and creates a sense of shared purpose.

Building Strong Emotional Intelligence

  1. Practice Self-Awareness: Understand your own emotional triggers and how they impact your leadership style. Regular reflection on your emotional responses will help you lead more effectively.
  2. Develop Empathy: Make a conscious effort to tune into others’ emotions. Pay attention not just to what people say but how they feel. This builds stronger, more emotionally intelligent connections.
  3. Improve Communication: Lead with clarity, but also with emotional sensitivity. Be open to feedback and create space for honest, emotionally-driven conversations.
  4. Stay Composed Under Pressure: Emotional regulation is key to leading with EI. When challenges arise, take a breath and approach them with calm. This composure reassures those around you and keeps the team on track.

Conclusion

Intentional masculinity isn’t about hiding emotions to appear strong; it’s about reckoning with them. By developing emotional intelligence, you can balance assertiveness with empathy, becoming a more effective leader and building deeper relationships. True strength comes from understanding and harnessing emotions — not suppressing them.